In the beginning of a relationship, both partners are leading separate lives and have much to share with each other. Over time, couples often give up independent activities. They may let go of friends and interests and start “living for” the other. When people don’t have some time apart, a marriage loses its mystery. The opposite can also occur: both people may go separate ways, and when things are bad, their differences become glaring. In addition to the natural forces that can dull relationships, resentments will choke the very life out of anything that is left. But love does not have to die. There are many things couples can do to rekindle fading embers:
Several of these strategies are adapted from Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix (Henry Holt, 1988).